“No TWITTER is changing,” I explained emphatically to my best friend (who I lovingly refer to as “Biff” for B.F.F.). “Facebook has already changed over.”
Honestly, I really do feel sorry for my closest friends who are constantly bombarded with social media information from me. It is violently shoved into their ear against their will. One day they will probably decide that my homemade chocolate truffle is no longer worth the pain they must endure to be near me and I will find myself alone with just my iPhone making status updates on how much I hate the straws on Capri Suns….but I’m still not concerned enough to stop doing it.
“So now why is Twitter changing?” she asked with a sigh.
“To look more like Facebook.”
“So why don’t I just stop using Twitter and only use Facebook?” she asked defiantly.
“Because then we’d have to take that adorable blue bird with his head cocked to one side off of your website.”
Extended pause with us blankly staring at each other……..epic joke failure.
“I thought you were a professional, but now I’m thinking you’re just an addict that is convincing the rest of the world to keep Twitter alive as long as possible,” she said dryly.
“I think ‘addict’ is a little harsh. I have READ the ’29 Signs of Twitter Addiction’ and I only met 24 of the requirements.”
“Remember that time that your neighbor boy got popped in the face by your 8 year old daughter when he tried to kiss her and the first thing out of your mouth was whether or not you should use hashtag “#naomicampbell” on that twitter update?”
“I think it was a good decision to include it. It got a TON of retweets.” I stated very matter-of-factly.
“Uh-huh,” Biff replied
“Point taken,” I said dismissively. “Anyway, you need to use Twitter for your business because there are over 200 million users that are on Twitter. Plus different types of people are on Facebook than who are on Twitter. For instance, the majority of Facebook users have an income over $51,000 and almost half of Twitter users are in college. So the lingo you use on Twitter might be different than what is used on Facebook.”
Biff jumped in, “So on Facebook I’d say something like ‘Take a look at our newest…fill in the blank,’ and on Twitter I should say something like “Whaddup, homies? Check it out!’”
“Uhhh…I will tackle you to the ground and throw your phone across the lawn before I’ll let you tweet “Whaddup, homies?”
“I dare you to tweet it,” she said in her taunting voice.
I pondered the idea. It really isn’t fair that she knows I never very rarely back down from her Twitter Tweet Challenges. Moving on…
“One of the biggest differences is that users are on Facebook for an average of 4.5 hours per month while users are only on Twitter for 2.5 hours per month.”
Biff interrupted, “Yeah, I bet you bring that average WAY up.”
I ignored her, “So the new Twitter is designed to keep users on Twitter
even longer by allowing ad space at the top so visitors can find out more information about you. It is similar to the Timeline cover photo on Facebook but with less rules on what you can and can’t have on there. In addition, the new profile will allow you to tweet to top which is exactly like Facebook’s pin to top feature.”
“Wait,” Biff said. “What is the Pin To Top feature again?”
“It’s for Facebook Pages. You can pin any post on your Timeline to the top and it will remain at the top until you remove it. So, Twitter will do the same thing in that you can select a tweet, pin it to the top of your profile, and it will be the first thing your visitors see.”
“So how do we do this on my Twitter?” That’s Biff’s way of telling me she’s tired of Twitter and wants to watch re-runs of ‘Housewives of New York.’
“Well…you can’t.” I said matter-of-factly.
“I’m sorry. But can I please get a refund on the last 5 minutes of my life?”
“I just mean that you can’t, right now. They are slowly rolling it out. But in the meantime you need to get familiar with the differences between Facebook and Twitter (see sidebar). Too many people are using them the exact same way which is NOT going to work in the long run.”
“So when you write about this can you title it ‘What the TWEET?’” she asked.
“No way!”
“Why do you NEVER use my title suggestions?”
“Because mine are always better.”
“I’ll bake you brownies if you do.”
What the tweet?….I love brownies.
UPDATE: After much deliberation (approximately 2.9 seconds) I decided NOT to back down from Biff’s TTC (twitter tweet challenge). And just because I was feeling extra feisty…I included my #naomicampbell hashtag.
If you liked this article:
NEXT WEEK’S ARTICLE:
“Pinterest….The Reason My Children Are Starving and My Son Wore the Same Underwear for 5 Days.” To get this article:
